I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
she smelled like a LAN party
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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