its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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