yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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