Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
