Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
