Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
