maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
