i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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