he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Just pee around me
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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