well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
