I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
