i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
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