I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
