Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
