I just gift wrapped bread.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
