Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
