weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
