he puts the penis in happiness.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
