i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
This is my gift to your gina
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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