Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
