Sponge bath it is.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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