Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
