You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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