he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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