Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
