worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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