he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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