So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
