Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
