Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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