would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
