im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
