If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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