she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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