Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
