Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
