okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
