Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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