At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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