it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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