Sry I called you an 8
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I just pynch a tree in the face
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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