So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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