tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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