This is not my ceiling
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
