oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
