You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
