I need help removing her.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
