Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize