I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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