oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
